Hey, look I am not here to make Life difficult, but sometimes you have to protect yourself, and let me tell you Good Protection ain't Cheap!
You know, there are a lot bandits in the neighborhood, smashed window, flat tire, somebody stealing your newspaper, people leaving the grocery store without paying for their groceries, it's all the same. Then there's the problem of guys selling you goods that either don't exist or ain't right. Look Everybody knows that there is not such a thing as Free Lunch, yet a lot of people fall for the Free Shipping gag. Oh sure UPS, Federal Express, or Joey's Courier service let's 'em ship for Free out of the goodness of their own hearts. "Hey it's be nice to your Neighbor Day so the shipping is Free", sure and if you believe that I wanna sell you some real "Mink" Coats.
They get a free ride and you and I end up paying for their dishonesty!
Here's the deal, the Low Price Joe deal:
1. We double the manufacturer's warranty to two years, that's right it does'nt work, it breaks, all of a sudden you can't get the Playboy channel or Oprah (whatever turns you on baby), you call me we put in the fix, or fix it by sending you a new one.
2. You got thirty days*, hey I once did two years in Attica standing on my head, so for you, 30 days is a breeze. You can return the item you purchased within 30 days, no charge, that's right you heard me right no charge, all you do is pay for shipping it back to me. You don't like the color, send it back, the new plastic smell is annoying your mutt Tootsy, send it back, you lost your paycheck on that loser of a nag and you need cash to bail mummy out of jail , send it back. Hey we are pretty easy going around here, but above all we want you to be happy, 'cause if you're not happy, I am not happy, and when I am not happy I start breaking legs, but that was another life.
3. Everything we ship is insured, so if it arrives broken, or dented or whatever, you call we fix it. And believe me I am used to fixing things.
The bottom line, there is only so much you can do to protect yourself, then guys like me step in, now at the end of the day, you may owe me a favor but what are friends for?
You know, there are a lot bandits in the neighborhood, smashed window, flat tire, somebody stealing your newspaper, people leaving the grocery store without paying for their groceries, it's all the same. Then there's the problem of guys selling you goods that either don't exist or ain't right. Look Everybody knows that there is not such a thing as Free Lunch, yet a lot of people fall for the Free Shipping gag. Oh sure UPS, Federal Express, or Joey's Courier service let's 'em ship for Free out of the goodness of their own hearts. "Hey it's be nice to your Neighbor Day so the shipping is Free", sure and if you believe that I wanna sell you some real "Mink" Coats.
